How to assert yourself in a relationship
A primer for the meek, illustrated with non-threatening animals.
If you’re anything like me, you find yourself bending to the needs and demands of others far more often than you take a stand for your own needs. You might let yourself get pushed around, even by people who are quite nice. But if you’re in a relationship with a sane, reasonable person (i.e., not an abusive relationship), there’s no reason you shouldn’t have your needs acknowledged and respected.
A lot of people give the advice, “Learn to say no.” That’s great, but they rarely explain how to do that. It can be hard. Here’s how I handled a conflict over scheduling at my part-time job.
Step 1: Determine what you need.
You have to be clear in your own mind what you need from someone before you can reasonably expect them to give it to you. Be honest with yourself about your own capabilities and desires.
In this case, I knew that I was working four days a week at my full time, and I knew that I wanted at least two days off every week. My part-time boss wanted me at least two days a week, but I knew that housekeeping work and the fairly meager pay associated with it aren’t worth sacrificing that much of my time.
I’m not going to reblog everything from the new blog, but this post was really important to me because it represents a huge step in my personal growth, and because I think it might be helpful for a lot of you.
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